Week 29: Time for some humor (sorry about the cussing)

I got up today a little frustrated that my 6'3" female physical therapist is "disappointed in my ass".  Or most accurately, disappointed in my ability to produce glute muscle.  Does anyone have steroids for sale?  Anyone anyone? Lance?

 

So now I'm mad.  And mad is a better place to be than fucking feeling sorry for myself.  I am now a protein eating machine.  And I will be hitting the gym 3X a week.  Those fucking band exercises are for the weak.  Give me heavy weights and blood sweat and tears.  Give me Rocky screaming for raw eggs.  Give me liberty or give me death!  I will have a strong ass soon and I will run again.  I will do Ironman Florida and I will get a tattoo to honor all the fucking goddamn shit I have done, will do, and am about to do so I can run 26.2 miles.  FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!  I do not care about the swim.  I do not care about the bike.  I know I can do those.  All I care about at this point is that my ass grows muscle so my knees don't wobble around like a baby horse who just pushed his way out of the womb.

 

Whew.  Thank you.  I'm done.  And I can assure you I am no longer feeling sorry for myself. ;)

Week 28: Run not looking good

I spent the last 2 weekends doing the swim and bike portions of a HIM distance.  The courses were complete opposites.  One being an ocean swim and super flat bike.  The other being a river swim and super hilly bike.  I was faster on the former, and struggled with the latter.  But enjoyed both immensely.  I find I am my own worst critic and think my performance awful the first 24 hours after a race.  Then I calm down a little and come to peace with it and figure out what I learned from it.  I learned that I expect life to be easy and when it's not easy, I want to quit. 

I went to physical therapy yesterday with the hopes that I would get the green flag to run again.  But knowing I would be told no.  And the answer was no.  But we talked a long time and figured out some more of the issues with my ankle and are addressing them.  I will give it another month and then closely examine whether or not it is smart to even think about ramping up to an Ironman.  I have until September 11 to get back $150 of my money and withdraw from the race.  In the meantime, I will continue the swim and bike and replace running with rollerblading.  I do not want to damage the work I have done healing by hurting myself ramping up for a distance I have never done and there is a part of me that wants to quit right now.  So I struggle with knowing whether I am wanting to quit because that's what I do when life gets tough, or wanting to quit because I am protecting my health.  Luckily I do not have to make that decision today.  I have some time.  I have 4 months to decide.  A lot can happen in 4 months.

Training for triathlons and participating in them can teach you many lessons in life if you're willing to listen for them.  I have learned more in the past year about life than I thought possible.  I'm grateful for the experience and for all the people who have contributed to me along the way.

Week 26: Halfway there

Halfway there and it's time for tri season to start and for me to do 2/3 of a Half Ironman.  Two weekends in a row.  Gulf Coast and then REV3.  I'm so nervous and excited and pumped about racing again.

There is nothing like racing in a triathlon. It's such a rush and such a wonderful mix of emotions that pour over me during the 3 different sports and the transitions. 

As usual, my stomach is in knots and I'm having a hard time eating this week.  I think of the race...go through the course in my mind.  Lay out all my gear and nutrition.  And train at a slower easier pace.  I get testy...and antsy and lazy.  I set my goals.  And take a deep breath and begin the journey.

This time it's much different.  It will only be swim and bike...yet these distances are much farther than I have raced before.  And I like the idea of getting in a groove and finding out what it feels like to race long.

I love the time before a race.  I like watching all my friends and teammates and fellow triathletes get ready to start.  I like the way the air feels around me.  The electricity that is present.  I like the shared feeling of looking into a stranger's eyes before a race and connecting with them and knowing what's about to transpire.

I truly can not imagine my life without it.